I’m not political. In fact, I equate politics as having the same merit as picking teams for a kickball game. Politicians are interchangeable figures. Yapping about the same things over and over again. But on the other hand I do know this is the greatest country in the world. Flawed as this country is I still love it. But every presidental election I get the same feeling. New faces, new hopes, same results. It’s quite disheartening. So I decided to write a small scene on what it feels like to be a citizen of this great nation of ours during a presidential election. I do work in the entertainment business don’t you know.
FADE UP
INT- SOME RANDOM GREASY SPOON – DAY
ME sits eating my lunch minding his own business.
Suddenly AMERICA bursts through the door. Arms flailing, he b-lines towards Me in a huff.
ME
(under his breath)
Oh crap.
Without invotation America makes himself at home across from Me.
ME
(hesitant)
Oh hey, what’s up America? Long time.
AMERICA
Four years man. Four long years.
ME
Has it been that long? Wow, time does fly.
AMERICA
It does, it does. So have you decidied?
ME
Decided on what America?
AMERICA
Oh you know. The most important, patriotic act a citizen can do.
ME
Oh right, that. Well what are my choices this time?
AMERICA
We got a good crop this year.
ME
You say that every time.
AMERICA
But this time I mean it.
ME
Okay, so what are they?
AMERICA
Well choice A is an aluminum bat to skull. And
choice B is an aluminum bat to the groin.
ME
What! Those are awful choices. I don’t want either.
AMERICA
Well that’s all I got. You have to choose one.
ME
Then I’m just not doing it. Sorry, not this year America.
AMERICA
But you have to, you’ll look stupid if you don’t.
ME
Stupid? But neither of those choices are intelligent.
AMERICA
(under his breath)
Commie.
Me slumps over in his chair and buries his face in his hands.
FADE TO BLACK
