I wish my head were in the clouds a little more

But alas strange things are afoot at the Circle K.  

We’re in the home stretch.  5 weeks and counting and I’ll be a father.  Scary, scary, scary thought.  I don’t know if I’m actually stressed and frantic or I just haven’t been able to take the time and let it really sink in.  But I’m going to a dad.  I will have total responsibility over a completely helpless being.  Maybe that’s it, when I say it like that it’s does sound quite horrifying.  That’s probably why I’m keeping things so “full”.  Making movies, recording some iteresting rap music for some folks, working 1, no 2, no 3 jobs at the same time.  I really need to get my head in the game.  

I guess it’s a little harder for the daddy-to-be to have that connection right off the bat.  The only tangible thing I see is my wife’s belly getting bigger.  She can feel him, growing, moving inside of her.  It’s a nightly thing that Beth gets really exited over the smallest movement.  She calls me over and says “Look, look!”  And honestly most times I can’t see anything.  Then I get “Well he was doing it a second ago.”  Day late and a dollar short I guess.  That moment in the delivery room is going to be incredible, I know it.  It’s just hard to really wrap your head around something so surreal yet so permanent.

Don’t get the wrong idea, I am extremely excited.  I cannot wait.  I (and I’m sure my wife would agree) want him to be here now.  Healthy, but now.  But let’s face it, the God’s honest truth is…I’m scared out of my mind.  And I think that’s normal.  I think anyone who approaches parenthood with a melancholy demeanor needs their head examined.  

So I guess that’s what I’m feeling.  A total and absolute fear and a total and absolute joy all at the same time.  It’s not everyday those two emotions cross paths.  Sorry I can’t be anymore poetic than that.  When I really think about, and let myself think about it, it’s so overwhelming.  But overwhelming or not, ready or not, here he comes.  So be it, and may he be blessed.

thanks for listening

The Runner

Go to http://vimeo.com/2337884 for the full HD version.

Because it’s what we do.

There is nothing better then getting together with your friends and just simply creating.  Sunday my very good friend Paul Smith and I shot a new short film.  I say friend, I really should call him my “Bruce”.  He’s my Bruce Campbell to his Sam Raimi (if you don’t know that story then you’re just not cool, sorry.).  We just threw some cameras in the car and went out and just starting shooting.  We had a vague semblance of an idea.  Nothing solid at all.  But we didn’t care.  A few weeks ago we both came to the simultaneous conclusion that if we didn’t create something, and now, we were going to lose our minds.  We didn’t go out looking for profit.  Trying to be something we’re not.  We’re just some guys who love the movies and movie making.  Like this blog, creating something is therapeutic.  A blurry vision in my head is now a tangible vision sitting in my computer.  I thought, I created, I have something to show for it.  I don’t care what you think, that’s cool.      

Anyhow Paul and I have been making movies together since we first met.  We both worked at Blockbuster Video way back in the day.  Shorts, music videos, just messing around.  We just create.  I’ve always said I never shot anything for fame or glory.  I’ve always just wanted the acceptance of my peers.  If my friends think something is cool then I’ve succeeded.  I’ll have something new to show the world in a few weeks.  But if you’re looking for the next big thing, don’t hold your breath.

Thanks CNN…what would we do with out you?

I screen grabbed this off cnn.com

the day before a presidential election I do often wonder what the hell Chevy Chase is thinking about, and now I do.  Thanks CNN for putting this top news story into the forefront of our world.  Without you I would be lost.

The Presidential Election (now a big time Hollywood production)

I’m not political.  In fact, I equate politics as having the same merit as picking teams for a kickball game. Politicians are interchangeable figures.  Yapping about the same things over and over again.  But on the other hand I do know this is the greatest country in the world.  Flawed as this country is I still love it. But every presidental election I get the same feeling.  New faces, new hopes, same results.  It’s quite disheartening.  So I decided to write a small scene on what it feels like to be a citizen of this great nation of ours during a presidential election.  I do work in the entertainment business don’t you know.

 

FADE UP

INT- SOME RANDOM GREASY SPOON – DAY

ME sits eating my lunch minding his own business. 

Suddenly AMERICA bursts through the door.  Arms flailing, he b-lines towards Me in a huff. 

ME

(under his breath)

Oh crap.

Without invotation America makes himself at home across from Me.

ME

(hesitant)

Oh hey, what’s up America?  Long time.

AMERICA

Four years man.  Four long years.

ME

Has it been that long?  Wow, time does fly.

AMERICA

It does, it does.  So have you decidied?

ME

Decided on what America?

AMERICA

Oh you know.  The most important, patriotic act a citizen can do.

ME

Oh right, that.  Well what are my choices this time?

AMERICA

We got a good crop this year.

ME

You say that every time.

AMERICA 

But this time I mean it.

ME

Okay, so what are they?

AMERICA 

Well choice A is an aluminum bat to skull.  And

choice B is an aluminum bat to the groin.

ME

What!  Those are awful choices.  I don’t want either.

AMERICA

Well that’s all I got.  You have to choose one.

ME

Then I’m just not doing it.  Sorry, not this year America.

AMERICA

But you have to, you’ll look stupid if you don’t.

ME

Stupid?  But neither of those choices are intelligent.

AMERICA

(under his breath)

Commie.

Me slumps over in his chair and buries his face in his hands.

FADE TO BLACK

 

Comment on “lion’s den” post

A good friend of my wife’s emailed that video to her.  I thought it was really profound so I posted it.  Now I don’t think it’s profound because of the political views per say.  What struck me as interesting was where this guy is from.  Kali-forn-i-a.  Over the years I’ve worked with countless people who “came” from California (no one is ever really from there).  And I’ve got tons of weird stories about how Californians see the rest of the country.  I worked in Nashville for several years and just about every time I worked with some one from Hollywoodland they would comment on how they were so surprised about the south.  They thought were we a bunch of uneducated hillbillies who were completely backwards in our thinking.  On several different jobs I was asked where someone could find some moonshine.  Like every person in the south just happens to have a still in their backyard…give me a break.  They all want to get John Deere overalls and cowboy hats when they come.  We’re not all farmers and we’re not in Texas, idiots.  Get your stereotypes correct.  But I digress, back to the topic.  

The gentlemen in this video is a walking talking contradiction.  At least according to society.  He’s a black, Californian, conservative, republican.  That’s like walking through downtown Baghdad and finding a Kosher deli.  But the most amazing thing about this guy…he’s completely unashamed of who he is.  He’s not bowing down to what he’s “suppose” to be and do.  So because I’m white and live in the Bible belt I’m suppose to vote a certain way.  Why?  Does my skin and geographical location determine who I am?  

His opening statement…”Issues”.  What a novel concept.  Listening, understanding, contemplating, deciding. Not…listening to everyone else, get wrapped up in the hype, overlooking the issues, then letting someone else tell you how to decide.  Face it folks when the smoke clears and the hype is flushed away all you all left is the issues.  You either believe in and desire for what the canidates have to offer or you don’t.  

Now as far as the title “Into the lion’s den”.  I guess it’s my way of applauding this guy.  Not for his political beliefs but for his courage.  His courage to be a sheep among wolves.  He didn’t drink the kool-aid of whatever he was being sold.  This guy is what freedom is to me.  The freedom to stand up and go against the grain, to go against what is popular.  We’ve all heard the quote about what is popular is not always what is right and vice versa.   Ohhh the irony, it’s palpable.  I honestly don’t know if I could be as fourth coming as him.

Random thought #4

Why does a British band get to wear an Obama armband on Saturday Night Live, but Rage Against the Machine gets banned for life for hanging an American flag upside down?

If anything an inverted flag is way more poignant in these times.  It’s not unpatriotic, it’s a war time sign of distress, for help.  Plus you’re British you can’t vote here. Now stop telling me who to vote and make your whiny college rock.

And GE’s gonna flex and try to annex the truth…

That lyric means a little more to me now.  

Just a thought.