It’s early Christmas morning. My wife is sound asleep. I, of course, am not. My first born son is due today. But atlas, that’s probably not going to happen. We’ll have to see how the day progresses. My wife’s cervex has been labeled “uncooperartive”. Modern medicine is a strange and cruel thing sometimes. She’ll be induced this Sunday hopefully and we’ll have a bundle of joy come Monday. There aren’t enough words I’ve learned in my lifetime to decribe all the thoughts I’m having. That’s probably why I haven’t posted anything in a while. But this morning of the most holy mornings I can only reflect on a very important birth, not my own and not my soon to be. This is my prayer. My prayer to my God. Not mans concept of God. Not mans invention of God. This is my prayer to a higher power, not to a story, not to a myth. This is my prayer to something bigger than me. Something so glorious and impossible my tiny brain can never grasp the scope.
My God. I come in humble reverence for the things I can never understand, and never will. My hope, my faith is battled every day. But everyday I am blessed. Blessed with love, blessed with health, blessed with life. Only You, the creator of life can understand life. My child is on the verge of entering this world. This all together wonderful and horrible world. I’d be a fool to say I’m ready. I don’t understand this world, how can I explain it to a child? My blind hope is my embrace. Foolish as this world may think,
it’s the only true solace I can take. I will never know your plans, if they’re even plans at all. All I know is that I have life and you have blessed me with a new life. I’ll say I’ll try my best, but sometimes I’ll fail. My plea is to catch me when I do. All I have to give is the life you’ve given me. We both know I don’t give that to you whole heartedly or even sometimes not at all. But in my most selfish wants, please watch over my child. Give him the understanding I cannot. Guide us both in wisdom. Catch us when we fall. We we always fall.
Amen.
I am blessed.
